Ally walked home, her body stiff, muscles tight. She walked to the brick house that was identical to its neighbors except for its lack of flags and flowers, and walked in, finding the door unlocked. She locked it behind her. Maybe Laura wasn’t home. Maybe she’d forget her key. Maybe she’d have to stay at one of her asshole’s houses.

Ally walked up the white-carpeted steps and into her room. It seemed purely black, her black curtains closed, keeping all light out. Her walls were painted black, her blanket and pillows were black, and every lampshade was black. It was just like someone had spilled ink all over her room and said it was done.

She sat down on her bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. She stared foreword, thinking.

She couldn’t stay in her room forever, she knew that. She knew she’d have to face Laura eventually. Maybe she wouldn’t get a message from the teacher, or she’d be so wasted she’d have no idea what really happened. Those were the good options. And maybe her grandmother wouldn’t hear about it. Or maybe she’d be old and senile and forget.

But Ally knew it was most likely her mother would hear the message or call from the sister, and she would be pissed. And it was most likely her grandmother might make a trip down just to throw more teacups at her. And it was most likely when she went back to school tomorrow she’d get a beating from a nun.

How they got away with still hitting kids she wasn’t sure.

But she was sure of one thing. She had to go back tomorrow. She just had to. She was graduating in less then two months, and then she’d be gone. She just had to get through that.

Maybe they’d kick her out and she could go to school with Rosuto. That was always a possibility too. Ally liked that idea. She really liked that idea. She might be able to spend the entire day with Rosuto then, every class, every moment. It would be so perfect…

She was shaken from her little fantasy when her door smashed open so hard she was sure it had left a dent in the wall. Her mother stood in the doorway, her blonde curls wild around her. Her impossibly small waist was pulled even smaller in a tight, smooth corset, and her breasts were nearly popping out.

“You little bitch,” she hissed as she stomped towards the bed. Ally went to scramble off it, but Laura had her by the wrist. She pulled her up and nearly dragged her out of the room. Ally pulled, but Laura’s grip was tight. Her nails were digging into Ally’s wrist, leaving small crescent moon shapes that would well with blood the instant she released her daughter.

“Let go!” Ally yelled and pulled harder, getting her wrist free. She fell backward and knocked over a small white table, holding a white vase. It hit the ground and shattered. Laura frowned more.

“Look what you’ve done!” She screamed. She slapped Ally across the face, then grabbed her by her collar and shoved her up against the wall. Ally was lifted slightly off the ground.

“I hate you,” her mother hissed. Her breath stank of cheap, stale wine. A sickly sour scent. “You’re the biggest mistake ever given to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“You got fucked a few too many times without thinking,” Ally hissed. “Ever hear of swallowing?” Laura lifted a hand a slapped her, then let her fall to the ground on her feet. She still pinned Ally to the wall.

“You worthless fuck,” Laura spat. “I wish you’d just die already. I wish you’d piss off the right person and they’d take a knife right to your gut.” She slapped Ally again, this time the same cheek the nun had backhanded. It was throbbing.

Ally tried to push her mother off, but Laura was on her like dead weight. She weighed more then she should have by looks.

“I wish you’d just go rot in hell already,” Ally said. “Or maybe that one of your little dogs would turn out to be a serial killer and rapist. He’d fuck you so hard he tore your cunt out, pulled it from your body, then he’d watch and get off on your precious little face as you cried. And maybe when he’s finally done, he’ll slit your throat…” Ally grinned. “I’d kill for a front row seat of that. I’d kill to be the one to slit your fucking throat.”

Laura punched Ally, fist connecting with the girl’s stomach. She backed up, and Ally doubled over. She hurt, but she laughed. Laura frowned.

“What’s so fucking funny,” she demanded, feet planted firmly in the white carpet. A few drops of blood were sprinkled around Ally’s feet from the reopening of the wound on her cheek.

“The fear in your eyes,” Ally hissed, looking straight at her. She wasn’t afraid of Laura. The woman could beat her until she died, but she’d never give her the satisfaction of fear. Not to her face, anyway.

Laura punched her again, and Ally fell down. She sat on the floor coughing, and blood splattered into her hand.

“Does it get you off beating your own flesh and blood?” Ally hissed, her lips coating in blood. “Get you off better then any guy ever could?”

Again the fist connected with her, this time in the chest. She fell onto her back. More blood welled in Ally’s mouth, and she swallowed it, like she swallowed her rage. She was much more violent in her words. She preferred her bark to her bite.

And she never knew when to quit.

She managed to sit up and grinned. Her teeth were red and pink. She just stared at Laura with that smile. Laura frowned.

“I’m going to send you away,” she hissed. “So far away I’ll never have to see you again. I should’ve done that when you were little, and you feared me. I should have listened to my mother and shipped you away, you satanic spawn. You are a monster.”

Ally stood up, leaning against the wall.

“But I don’t try and beat my kids to death,” she said, still smiling. Laura went to hit her, and Ally ducked. Laura’s fist connected with the wall, and she screamed in pain. Blood coated her knuckles.

Ally swiped her leg under Laura, knocking her feet from under her. She fell to her knees, but grabbed Ally’s ankle and pulled the girl down with her. Ally tried to pry away, but Laura’s nails got a hold of her waist under her shirt and scratched down, leaving bright trails of crimson to stain her clothes.

Ally groaned, but bit her lip. She wouldn’t scream. Laura wasn’t worth the scream.

“Drunken whore,” Ally spat.

“Demonic slut,” Laura hissed back and slapped her. Ally gritted her teeth. She’d had enough of getting hit today. She pulled her fist back and slammed it into the side of Laura’s face, who fell backwards. She landed on her back, and Ally stood up. She walked over to her and loomed over her.

“I hate you,” she stated plainly, and kicked Laura in the side. It felt so good to watch her face twist in pain. It felt so good after all these years of this shit to finally see her in real pain.

Laura looked up at her, but her eyes showed nothing. No motherly love hidden away, not recognition that her only child, her flesh and blood, really did hate her. No knowledge she’d hurt her baby. Only a strong, selfish hate.

She sat up and punched Ally one more time in the side. Ally clutched it, and looked down at Laura.

She’s had all she could take.

Ally ran past her, her black shoes sinking in the carpet. She left a trail of blood drops behind her. She ran down the stairs and out the door into the warm setting night.

And she ran. She ran with everything she was away from all of this. She ran away from her only home, her only chance at a mother. She ran away from everything she hated, and everything she ever wanted to love and have.

She ran away from her passionate pain.

Maybe she was a monster. Maybe she was demonic. Hell, maybe she was Satan in disguise. She had beaten people today, verbally, physically. She’s pulled their every nerve loose, destroyed traces of their sanity. She’s bruised their skin; she’d drawn their blood for sure somewhere. She’d taken a part of their humanity as they beat her.

Maybe she was just a horrible as they said. Maybe she was worse.

She stopped as she stared up at a peaceful cream house, packed in tightly with its neighbors. Happy. Calm. Safe.

Safe. She always felt so safe right here. Her only safety blanket.

She walked up the stairs, but then her knees gave up. She fell down, scraping them on the hard stairs. She looked up at the door, at the knob. It seemed a thousand feet up. Everything seemed a thousand feet up.

She was finally spiraling down. It had taken 18 years, but her existence was finally spiraling down. She was finally falling, past the ground, past rock and earth, and buried bone, and into her own, self-built purgatory. Built by her existence, by her own flesh and blood.

Tears welled in her eyes and she let them spill down her cheeks. Ally sobbed, but was unable to reach up and wipe her tears away. Her arms felt like they were made of lead. Her body shook, and every movement hurt. She ached. Ached so much she thought her body would just fall apart. Ached so much she was sure her heart and mind were broken, turned to dust within the shell she inhabited.

She knelt there and sobbed, so sure she was alone in her purgatory.